QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle  without a razor? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we  know  the batteries are flat?    Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds'  when they know  there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you when you say there  are four billion stars, but check when you say the  paint is wet?  Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness?  Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby'  when babies wake up every two hours?  If the temperature is zero outside today and it's  going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?  Do married people live longer than single ones or does it  only seem longer? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured  out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?  Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put  money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?   Did you ever stop and wonder....... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think  I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'  Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there.. . I'm  gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'  Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could  burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would  eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?  Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the  time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where  the bathroom is?  If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?  If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from  vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?  If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from  morons?  Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star  have the same tune? Stop singing and read on......  Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?  Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,  he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,  he sticks his head out the window?  Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it  arrive faster?