quarta-feira, 17 de março de 2021
terça-feira, 16 de março de 2021
Funny - Stethoscope
A young doctor had moved to a small community near Broken Hill to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman, How did you come to your diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the waste bin I knew that was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.
She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once had and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the Church,” the younger doctor told her.
“Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she’s very active in the church but how did you arrive at it?”
“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed.”
www.asocialox.com
segunda-feira, 15 de março de 2021
Lemon Drizzle Cake recipe
3 large eggs
170g self raising flour
170g caster sugar
170g butter
Zest of 2 lemons
1 tsp baking powder
For the drizzle:
Juice of 2 lemons (the ones you zested)
110g icing sugar
Method:
1. Preheat your oven to about 180C and grease a loaf tin.
2. Thoroughly mix your cake ingredients together until they form a nice smooth batter. As mentioned, I used a mixer as I’m a lazy cow and like to spend my time farting about on social media more than I enjoy getting arm ache from beating cake mixture, but your method of mixing is entirely up to you! A mixer is much quicker, but I don’t need to tell you that, do I?
3. Pop your cake in the oven for 30-35 minutes. Whilst you’re waiting whisk together the icing sugar and lemon juice from the lemons you zested earlier. It’ll look really runny but don’t worry – it needs to be to soak into the sponge and will set surprisingly easily.
4. After half an hour test your sponge by putting a skewer or a knife into the centre – if it comes out clean, your cake is ready. Once ready, take the cake out of the oven and using a skewer, push holes all the way into the sponge and pour over your drizzle mixture. I went a bit mad at this stage, which made for a very moist cake, so bear this in mind before you go totally skewer happy!
itsjustnice.wordpress.com
Joke - The Nun Fainted!
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. ‘Tell me Susie, who created the universe?’
When Susie didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. ‘God Almighty!’ shouted Susie.
The Nun said, ‘Very good’ and continued teaching her class.. A little later the Nun asked Susie, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?’
But Susie didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt. ‘Jesus Christ!!!’ shouted Susie.
And the Nun once again said, ‘Very good,’ and Susie fell back asleep..
The Nun asked her a third question…’What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Susie jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!’
The nun fainted !
www.asocialox.com
