This is said to be a favorite story of Lyndon Johnson’s.
A preacher was becoming terribly distracted by a man who came to church every Sunday and slept through the entire sermon.
One Sunday the preacher decided to do something about it.
As he began to preach, the man, true to form, fell fast asleep.
Whereupon the preacher said quietly, “Everyone who wants to go to heaven, stand up.” The entire congregation immediately stood up, except the sleeping man.
When they sat down, the preacher shouted at the top of his voice, “Everyone who want to go to hell, stand up.”
This startled the dozing man.
Still half asleep, he jumped up, looked around to see what was going on, then said to the preacher,
“I don’t know what we’re voting on but it looks like you and I are the only ones in favor of it.”
https://funnnyfunny.com/