Lady and the officer

 A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer : Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer : Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer : I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer : Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer : Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer : You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up

Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer

The officer examines the license

He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

• www.funnycity.net

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Yellow tree dicks

 

CHOCOLATE CINNAMON MADELEINE CAKES

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup of all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons of cocoa powder, sieved

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon of salt

3 of eggs

1/2 cup of sugar

1/2 cup of melted butter

GARNISH

1/2 cup of melted chocolate 

1/4 cup of fine chopped hazelnuts.

STEPS 

Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a bowl then set aside.

In another bowl, whisk the eggs and sugar with a handheld mixer until the mix whitens and doubles in volume.

Gradually alter adding the flour mix and melted butter one at a time.

Refrigerate the mix for an hour before continuing.

Preheat the oven at 400°F and set the rack at the middle of it. Grease and dust flour on the Madeleine molds then set aside.

Pour the mix into the molds, then bake for 12 minutes. Remove from the molds as soon as they are out of the oven.

Dip each madeleine in the melted chocolate and into the chopped hazelnuts then lay onto a cooling grid.

www.troisfoisparjour.com

Thief and Moses the parrot.

 He turns on his flashlight and proceeds to the family room where he intends to start bagging small items and work his way up to the big items.

While he is beginning to collect valuables, he hears a voice…

“Jesus is watching.”

This startles the burglar, who quickly glances around with the flashlight but doesn't see or hear anything else.

The burglar shrugs it off and continues.

“Jesus is watching.” The voice states again, in a more warning tone.

The burglar shines his light in the direction of the voice and sees a parrot.

“Did you say that?” He asks.

“Yes.” The parrot replies.

“What is your name?” Asks the burglar.

“Moses.” Replies the parrot.

The burglar chuckles

“Who the hell names their parrot Moses?”

“The same guy that named his Rottweiler Jesus.”

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Wise Words - “Short cuts make long delays.”

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