Funny one-liners:

 

   How come we never see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

  42.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.

   Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

 Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

 Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

 What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

 Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?